Burta de parlamentar
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La nici 24 de ore de la aflarea vestii ca in stomacul unui deputat a fost gasita o lingura, tara a mai primit un raspuns la intrebarea "Ba, da' ce mananca astia?". Vineri seara, o coloana de jepuri a
La nici 24 de ore de la aflarea vestii ca in stomacul unui deputat a fost gasita o lingura, tara a mai primit un raspuns la intrebarea "Ba, da' ce mananca astia?". Vineri seara, o coloana de jepuri a depus la Spitalul Clinic dr. Bellu corpul inert al senatorului M.N., ridicat direct de la o cina de afaceri. Citam din raportul medicului de garda. Ora 21:43. Semne vitale slabe, stare generala alterata. Se recolteaza probe de laborator. Pacientul este transferat in sectia de pediatrie, sectia de terapie intensiva ramanand, in urma reducerii paturilor, cu trei scaune. 22:15. Pacient inconstient. Puls 120, febra 39 cu 2. Sosesc compresele cu apa rece comandate la Spitalul Reinvierea, fost "Reforma Sanitara". Se administreaza bolnavului ca antitermic si vaso-contractor. Se asteapta transportul de aspirine, solicitat colegilor de la Baia Mare. 23:07. Probele de laborator evidentiaza prezenta in organism a bacilului privatizatius trucatus, in concentratie de 0,43 la mie. Se injecteaza doua unitati spagulina. 23:33. Bolnavul raspunde la tratament si comunica cu medicii. Inca aiureaza: "Nici un euroi mai putin", "Baiete, mai adu' una d'asta", "Ia fabrica si du-te'n...". 0:00. Soferul secretarului particular al pacientului se intoarce cu nota de la restaurantul La Mai Mare: supa de caracatita murata, limba de ornitorinc, cotlet de girafa. Totusi, ca ipoteza de lucru, se merge pe intoxicatie cu tochitura de cangur. Se administreaza purgative. 1:17. Radiografia semnaleaza prezenta unui corp masiv in tubul digestiv. Se formeaza o comisie de specialisti. 2:02. Bolnavul are primul scaun. Aspect placut, gros, consistent. Se trimite laboratorului. 5:14. Rezultate spectaculoase. Laboratorul a numarat 3 miliarde lei si dooj' de mii euro. Al patrulea scaun: un Mastercard in valuta. 7:12. Pacientul solicita externarea. Inca nerefacut. In fata spitalului survine al saptelea scaun. O cheie de BMW.
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